Usually at night, as I'm getting comfy in bed, I will check my email or Facebook right before I drift off to sleep. Tonight, my inattention to my husband led to the following conversation, which unfortunately is completely true and makes me look like a moron.
Sweetie Pie: I cleaned my butt off today.
Me: (half-listening, so genuinely confused) Wait....What? You cleaned your butt off? It was that dirty?
SP: (sarcastically) Yes! Yes, it was that dirty, but I cleaned it, shaved it, and even buffed it. You could eat off it! Good night! *rolled over in a humph*
About halfway through his rant, I realized what he really meant, so I started laughing hysterically, and when he heard me begin typing on my phone, he said, "You better not post this."