Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Kick in the Gut

Okay...I'll admit. I'm a bad blogger. I just can't find the time to do it these days. I have tons to write about...I'm full of "Not Me's" on Mondays...I could probably post a few pics of my house on Fridays for "Show Us Where You Live" since its currently clean and fairly complete and actually semi-decorated in most rooms. I was even on vacation for two weeks, and not one single blog was created...for that, I apologize to the few who link to my blog and the even fewer who come here hoping for a new glimpse into the life of this Ryan household. Here's a recap...

We started attending a new church in late May and immediately felt like we belonged! The kids love their new church activities and Clint and I have had a great time getting to know everyone in new Life Group. In Sunday school, we've been watching a video series called "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. After a few videos, I went and bought the book. The basic premise of the book and the video series is Ephesians 5:33: "Husbands must love their wives and wives must respect their husbands." I was enjoying the videos...reading the book...thinking "This sounds pretty easy..." and then...while on vacation, I flew off the handle. One of those crazy, yelling, irrational rampages. No one was safe...the kids were grounded from anything I could think to ground them from...Wii, TV, computer, toys, snacks, pillows (it was a weak moment). And when Clint got home, he got it too. There was an ice chest in the living room that had been there over a week, and as I walked through the living room with an arm full of clothes, I tripped over it. Once I put the laundry down, I limped back into the living room and kicked the ice chest towards him, telling him in so many words just what kind of non-contributing member of our family I thought he was. All of this, I'm sad to say, was witnessed by our children. Of course I apologized, but the damage was done, and my kids saw first hand how not to control one's self. A few days later, I was reading in the book again and came across a passage that said:

"When your sons grow up, do you want them to be married to a woman like you?"

That statement hit me like a ton of bricks...it was a total kick in the gut. I know I was not being the way I should be. I was being uncaring, irrational, impatient, disrespectful, unrealistic....the list goes on and on. I have now made it my goal every day to exemplify the kind of woman I want my kids to be married to...patient, rational, calm, kind, loving, helpful, and most of all, respectful. I am trying to be more patient with them, taking a deep breath when I get aggravated, and setting realistic expectations and sticking to realistic punishments. I know I can't do this by myself. Not only am I praying to God every day for guidance, strength, and discipline for myself, I've also enlisted the help of my husband. When I start to get hot under the collar, he's there to talk me back down, and let me know that I need to chill out. Since I asked him to keep me in check, its not so hard to hear that I need to cool it. And because I'm treating him with more respect, like the way he deserves to be treated, he's showing a lot of love and being a huge contributor to our household right now. He's always been a great provider and I've been blessed to have him as a partner, but I haven't been showing him. I have spent way too much time nagging him about what he isn't doing instead of acknowledging the contributions he has made to our household, like getting up at 5am to go to go work so that he can get off in time to pick up the kids from school or camp, or coming home and doing laundry or dishes or whatever else needs to be done. As long as we work as a team, together, things are so much easier around here. I feel so blessed to have him, and as our youngest son gets ready to start school next month, and things continue to get crazier around here with gymnastics, and dance classes, and church activities and whatever else we can come up with, we'll be able to handle it all.
I'll shout it from the rooftops. I RESPECT MY HUSBAND! And I feel so incredibly loved. :)


Sarah said...

That was a wonderful blog post, Misti! I have that book but I really need to start reading it. Thanks for sharing this!


Donald Wegley said...

Don't be too hard on your self ....your a great mother and a fantastic wife. And a daughter I couldn't be more proud of.



Anonymous said...

I really liked this post. So honest and heart felt. It touched me very much. I need to remember those things you just said everyday.

Amberghini said...

Where was that cooler when we were chasing armadillos in the backyard-ha! Thank you again for sharing that with us in class! We are glad to have you in Bible Study too!

Amber Van Meter