For those of you who read my blog, I haven't been very active lately. And there's a reason for it. I mean, another reason besides the fact that I am incredibly busy. I have been struggling with the entire premise of my blog. By writing under the guise of being a beta mom, am I celebrating my own mediocrity? Because I don't necessarily feel mediocre. Don't get me wrong. I know I'm not perfect in any way, shape, or form. I only clean my house when I know other people are going to see it....and even then I only clean the rooms they will physically be in. In fact, my house always seems to have an odd smell. I have been known to bribe my children with whatever I can use (usually TV) to get them to leave me alone so I can get things done. And for heaven's sake, my three year old still gets a bottle! I'm probably not in the top 10% of the best performing mothers I know. (Though I'm not sure how you would quantify that...) I do know that I try my hardest to be the best mom I can be and raise happy children. I think the boys would say I'm a good mom. At least I hope they would say that....I do cook every night. There is a general structure in our household. I attempt to exhibit to the kids a good work ethic with my job. We try to teach the kids the values and traits that Christians should exhibit. My kids are witness to the love that my husband and I have for each other. I think these things make me a darn good mother. Not Beta...Definitely not Alpha. Just the best mom I can possibly be for my kids. And I'm excited, energized and so very blessed to be that for them.
With this revelation, comes change. The title of my blog is changing. (Trying out new titles as we speak...) And the way I view life is changing. I'm changing. And its good. I'm starting to work on my book again, also with a new premise. Watch for updates here. And just know that I am feeling great feelings these days. I'm realizing what I should have known all along. My kids are evidence enough that I am doing alright.