I have read that amazing book "Having a Mary Heart in Martha world". I want to be a Mary...I want to relax in the moment and enjoy. I think being a Martha is hard sometimes. Do you?
Though I was referring to Martha Stewart, I can definately see where Kelly is coming from here. I do think being Martha is hard, though I can't honestly say I feel like Martha (Stewart or otherwise). Everyone I work with constantly calls me "Super Mom" and they can't believe how I raise three children, work a full time stressful job, keep house, cook every night, host a weekly small group, volunteer, etc...and I feel like a fraud sometimes. Yes, the part of my house that people see is clean...well, when I know people may see it its clean anyways...but I certainly don't do it alone. When I got home today, Clint had the dishes going, a loaf of bread baking, had laundry washing and drying, and was folding a basket in our bedroom. All I had to do was cook dinner. It's taken us a long time to get to this place, a routine that works for us and doesn't make one parent feel so overloaded. And we don't have any problem letting something slide, like vacuuming or mopping, until it absolutely has to be done.
...but I don't necessarily feel like Mary either...I know it is harder to be Mary. I would love to be able to read the Bible and study God's word, concentrating on the passages and the lessons. I wish I could just sit and spend that time with God without my mind wandering to what needs to be done.
I am going to shoot for just being in the happy middle...getting done what I (we) can, enjoying the blessings God gives us, and trying to make time to spend with God. If I plan it in, it happens more. I don't want to give God whatever is leftover of me...I want to have time that is specifically for God, and not just fit in somewhere. Does that happen? Not as often as I'd like it to...but I'm working on it...that's all I can do, right? And you gotta start somewhere.