Monday, August 18, 2008


Even though people comment often about how much our sons look alike, there's obvious differences when it comes to their personalities.
For example, every Friday is Popcorn Day at the kids' school. For 50 cents, the kids can purchase a bag of popcorn. Luke happened to have enough change in his pocket to buy a bag, while Beau's teacher had forgotten to tell the kids about Popcorn Day and kindly purchased a bag for each of the students in her class. Luke quickly tore into this bag, while Beau held onto his until he got home. Upon arrival, he grabbed Jackson's hand and said "Come on, Jack. Wanna eat some popcorn?" And they walked into the kitchen together, to share a snack and enjoy some time together. It was absolutely the cutest thing ever and I actually teared up a little when Clint was telling me about it. Luke definitely has his moments of kindness, but Beau is significantly more compassionate towards others, and is quick to offer an encouraging word, especially to Jackson. They have a very close bond...I'm assuming because there are only 15 months between the two of them.
Beau is also pretty shy except around people he knows, and every morning, Luke offers to walk him into the school building, but Beau isn't quite ready for that, so I have walked him into the gym every morning to meet his class. And I don't mind...I actually prefer seeing that he made it to his teacher. With Luke, however, we have finally reached the point in our relationship where he doesn't want anyone to know I exist. The minute I pull the van into the parking lot, he hops out, yells "Bye!" and runs off to join his class. When Beau, Jackson, and I enter the gym, Luke basically ignores me, only acknowleding my presence with a glance out of the corner of his eye. I'm okay with it...sort of...I don't want to embarrass him and I'm glad he's becoming independent...but I do miss the days when he wanted to hold my hand and needed a hug to start the day.
Another difference is their clothing. Luke will wear whatever I say looks good, which, while I know will be shortlived, is a blessing every day that I don't have to fight with him about what he's going to wear. Beau, however, refuses to wear anything I pick out for him. He has to pick out his own clothes, and no matter what, the shorts have to be "slippery". He tells me every morning, "Where are my slippery shorts? I only want to wear slippery shorts." When I tell him that he should just wear what I pick out for him, he says his new favorite phrase, which is "I never get to wear slippery shorts." Its ridiculous!
Jackson, however, is a whole other ball game. He's having a very hard time with the fact that he goes to school by himself while Luke and Beau go to school together. And we have reached a point where everything hurts his feelings. EVERYTHING! Its so bad that I'm concerned about his over-sensitivity. Its hard for other people to realize, because even though he doesn't communicate well, he can understand everything that's said to him. For example, this morning, when I dropped him off at school, he was proudly wearing a bracelet that he had made at church last night. He went to show one of his friends, who quietly stated "You're not my buddy." Jackson's teacher immediately got onto the other child, but not before Jackson was pouting, with his bottom lip sticking out and his head turned down to the floor. When we tried to comfort him, he pushed us away and laid down on the floor, face down, crying into the carpet. Because he can't (won't) talk to us, he has no way of communicating to us how he's feeling besides crying, screaming, and pushing. Its unbelievably frustrating, and we often get the same reaction when we get onto him when he gets in trouble. Its so hard to know what to do sometimes, or even how to handle it. Most often, he ends up crying in his bed and he won't leave his room. He refuses any comfort at all and it breaks my heart to see him that way.

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