Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Dangers of Romance Novels

In the past two weeks, under a blanket of the most snow and the coldest temperatures Oklahoma has ever seen, I've occupied my abundance of time at home with books 1-10 of the Southern Vampire Mysteries (thanks to the Kindle app on the iPad, which allowed me access to any book on Amazon I wanted without having to leave the comfort of my warm home), as well as its TV adaptation, seasons 1 and 2 of True Blood (also on the iPad....truly the greatest invention ever!).

Being a huge fan of the television series already, it makes it even more enjoyable to be able to put faces with the characters in the books. I imagine the enjoyment is similar to what the fans of Twilight experience, except that these characters aren't boys...they are men. Sorry if this offends any Twihards out there...just stating a fact...

Exhibit A: Vampire Eric...he flies. Take that, Edward. He also the bluest blue eyes and a cool voice with just a hint of foreign accent. Played by Alexander Skarsgard, who has five times been voted the sexiest man in Sweden....smart people, those Swedes...


Exhibit B: Vampire Bill....played by British actor Stephen Moyer...I could listen to him speak for hours, whether as his character with a proper Southern drawl, or as himself in his own British accent with a penchant for cursing. (If you haven't noticed, I have a thing for accents....my husband is aware of this, and he is fine with it, truly. He uses it to his advantage from time to time...)
Exhibit C: Alcide the Werewolf...in the novels, his character is described as having "arms like tree trunks"...He trained for 5 months to get ready for this role, and from the many, many, MANY shots of him on the show devoid of any shirt, I'd say Joe Manganiello does not disappoint. I liked him as one of Marshall's fellow law students on "How I Met Your Mother"....I LOVE him as the hunky general contractor/werewolf who runs a little hot...

I don't normally make a habit of posting pictures of other men on my blog...

Let me first point out that I am extremely happily married...I love my sweetie pie more than anything in this whole wide world.

And secondly, in my defense, I spent quite a bit of time trying to find pictures of these men fully clothed, so as not to be disrepectful to my sweetie pie, because, like I said, I love him, and I find him even more attractive today than when we first met 10 wonderful years ago.

And thirdly, there is a point to this post...

As I read these books about the heroine, Sookie Stackhouse, and watch the episodes of this show, I can't help but notice a few effects that these activities have on my mood and actions.

For one, after watching this show, I notice a definite increase in the appearance of my Southern accent. Most often it is hidden behind my mom voice or my 'Yes-I'm-in-my-20's-but-I-do-know-what-I'm-talking-about' work voice, but after hearing Mr. Stephen Moyer's portrayal of Vampire Bill Compton's drawl, I can't help but add a few extra syllables in my own conversations.

Secondly, I can't help but feel a little bit jealous of Sookie's, albeit fictional, life. Sure, she has anti-vampire rights activists, maenads, various shape shifters, vampire kings, witches, rogue fairies, etc. trying to harm her or kill her in some capacity or another, but she also has a number of gorgeous (see exhibits A, B, and C) men vying for her attention and doing absolutely anything to be with her. Now, granted, she does have fairy blood, which is extremely intoxicating to vampires but for a couple of technically dead guys who don't have beating hearts, they certainly have a way with words. When Bill proposes to Sookie after vampires and humans are given the right to marry in Vermont, he rents out an entire restaurant because he tells her, "The sight of you is not something I wish to share with others.". How romantic is that? To think that one person finds you so desirable that he wants you all to himself, that he would spare no expense in making sure that he is the only one garnering your attention, and that he makes it a habit to let everyone know "Sookie is mine!". It's very romantic, as well as being very detrimental to the psyche of a woman who spends days trapped in the house, cooking, cleaning, and working while simultaneously keeping three boys occupied enough that they won't harm each other or destroy the house while her husband works 12 hour days and shovels the snow that just keeps falling, leaving him no energy to woo his wife of almost 10 years who, because of the partaking of the romance novels, so desperately wants to be wooed but doesn't bother to change out of her pajamas!?!?!

I know my husband loves me, and that I love him, but everyone wants to feel captivating and desirable, and some days, he's just too tired to make me feel like I'm 1/8th fairy and he's a 173-year old vampire who finds me absolutely intoxicating...

But then, this wonderful man of mine, does something that brings me back to reality, and makes that supernatural wooing sound like a bunch of nonsense...my sweet, handsome husband, who functions on very little sleep to provide for this family at a job that he does so well, and then comes home to clean, cook, and care for us so that we can enjoy family time together, and then alone time together after the kids are in bed...watching him play with our children, being the best dad that he can be, and then sitting on the couch as he listens to my thoughts, ideas, dreams, and ramblings, he makes my heart go pitter-patter much more than a Southern drawl or arms that resemble tree trunks.

Who needs vampires and werewolves? I've got my own hunk right here.

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